Good Morning, Sunshine.

4.14.13

So, cuuuuuute. I love him & he’s my favorite & I want himmmmm <3

4.14.13

becausethisismyshow:

“Every girl is expected to have caucasian blue eyes, full Spanish lips, a classic button nose, hairless Asian skin with a California tan, a Jamaican dance hall ass, long Swedish legs, small Japanese feet, the abs of a lesbian gym owner, the hips of a nine-year-old boy, the arms of Michelle Obama and doll tits. This is why everyone is struggling.”
-Tina Fey

THIS QUOTE.

THIS BOOK.

“Every girl is expected to have caucasian blue eyes, full Spanish lips, a classic button nose, hairless Asian skin with a California tan, a Jamaican dance hall ass, long Swedish legs, small Japanese feet, the abs of a lesbian gym owner, the hips of a nine-year-old boy, the arms of Michelle Obama and doll tits. This is why everyone is struggling.”

-Tina Fey

THIS QUOTE.

THIS BOOK.

(via dountome)

4.14.13

0 notes

1. A group of flamingos is called a flamboyance.

2. On the day of his assassination, Martin Luther King Jr. had a pillow-fight in his motel room.

3. The nitrogen in our DNA, the calcium in our teeth, the iron in our blood, the carbon in our apple pies were made in the interiors of collapsing stars. We’re all made of star dust.

4. Penguins only have one mate their entire life and “propose” by giving their mate a pebble.

5. Cows have best friends.

6. Cuddling releases Oxytocin which helps speed healing and recovery from physical wounds.

7. Otters hold hands when sleeping so they don’t drift away from each other.

8. There’s a type of jellyfish that lives forever.

9. The clitoris has 8000 nerve fibres, double that of the penis, and is the only organ in the body, which has evolved purely for pleasure.

10. Every year the Netherlands sends 20,000 tulip bulbs to Canada to thank them for their aid in the Second World War.

11. Rats giggle when you tickle them. Their voices are so high-pitched you need special equipment to hear them, but when you do, their laughs are immediately evident.

12. If you say “my cocaine” you sound like Michael Caine saying his own name.

13. Male puppies, when playing with female puppies, will intentionally let the female win.

14. There are people, ombrophiles, who have a passionate love for rain.

15. A group of porcupines is called a prickle.

16. Aside from a sample in a lab, Smallpox is completely extinct. No one else will ever die from it again.

17. A pig’s orgasms last thirty minutes.

18. Sloths only leave their tree once a week, to pee and poo.

19. Cows produce the most milk when listening to the song Everybody Hurts by REM.

20. A monkey was once tried and convicted for smoking a cigarette in South Bend, Indiana.

21. Baby rabbits are called kittens.

22. Baby puffins are called pufflings.

23. Worms communicate by snuggling.

<3

4.14.13

0 notes

My New Love: The Immortal Jellyfish

4.14.13

0 notes

Some Good Advice

4.14.13

0 notes

“ Once on a yellow piece of paper with green lines
he wrote a poem
And he called it “Chops”
because that was the name of his dog
And that’s what it was all about
And his teacher gave him an A
and a gold star
And his mother hung it on the kitchen door
and read it to his aunts
That was the year Father Tracy
took all the kids to the zoo
And he let them sing on the bus
And his little sister was born
with tiny toenails and no hair
And his mother and father kissed a lot
And the girl around the corner sent him a
Valentine signed with a row of X’s
and he had to ask his father what the X’s meant
And his father always tucked him in bed at night
And was always there to do it
Once on a piece of white paper with blue lines
he wrote a poem
And he called it “Autumn”
because that was the name of the season
And that’s what it was all about
And his teacher gave him an A
and asked him to write more clearly
And his mother never hung it on the kitchen door
because of its new paint
And the kids told him
that Father Tracy smoked cigars
And left butts on the pews
And sometimes they would burn holes
That was the year his sister got glasses
with thick lenses and black frames
And the girl around the corner laughed
when he asked her to go see Santa Claus
And the kids told him why
his mother and father kissed a lot
And his father never tucked him in bed at night
And his father got mad
when he cried for him to do it.
Once on a paper torn from his notebook
he wrote a poem
And he called it “Innocence: A Question”
because that was the question about his girl
And that’s what it was all about
And his professor gave him an A
and a strange steady look
And his mother never hung it on the kitchen door
because he never showed her
That was the year that Father Tracy died
And he forgot how the end
of the Apostle’s Creed went
And he caught his sister
making out on the back porch
And his mother and father never kissed
or even talked
And the girl around the corner
wore too much makeup
That made him cough when he kissed her
but he kissed her anyway
because that was the thing to do
And at three a.m. he tucked himself into bed
his father snoring soundly
That’s why on the back of a brown paper bag
he tried another poem
And he called it “Absolutely Nothing”
Because that’s what it was really all about
And he gave himself an A
and a slash on each damned wrist
And he hung it on the bathroom door
because this time he didn’t think
he could reach the kitchen. ”